Friday, December 19, 2008

Tips on avoiding contact with customers during the Christmas season

I hate talking to customers during the holiday shopping season. Everyone is crazy. Associates are crazy and mad, customers are crazy and mad. No one is happy, really. Since I can't really avoid associates (they have to pass through my domain twice a day minimum), I like to avoid customers like the plague. Here are some tips:

1. Avert your eyes. Do not greet or smile at customers. If you don't look at them, it's harder for them to stop you.
2. Walk fast and with a purpose. If you look like you're in a rush, people don't want to bother you.
3. Whenever possible, carry a large and difficult package or boxed kitchen appliance. If you're carrying something heavy and difficult, customers aren't going to stop you.
4. Keep to the sidelines. Only go out when absolutely necessary and when going out keep to the periphery of the store.
5. Wear jeans. Jeans make it clear that you are not a floor employee and do in fact belong in the stock room.
6. Carry a PDT, or other important looking retail device. I don't know what that stands for, but it's the thing that prints price tags. You carry that and walk with purpose, no one really messes with you. You are on a mission to get them a better deal. Not them personally, but they get the picture.
7. If all else fails, go with the "I don't know I'm only the gift wrapper" bit. This is helped by having lots of ribbon on your person.

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